Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
