He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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