margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
