IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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