he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We talked him into tasing himself.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
