So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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