I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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