you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
