I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
