How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
