Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
