had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
