I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
