areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize