Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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