We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
