You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
