3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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