bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
