I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
