they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Randomize
