do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
