Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
