I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
