I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
