just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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