I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had to cum in my sink.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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