Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
