Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
