Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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