We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
