And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
