she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
