all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
