just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
