WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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