he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
