i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
