Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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