we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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