Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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