Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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