If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
