would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
