You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
