god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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