Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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