yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
