We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
