But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
