the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize