That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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