mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
