Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
