I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize