yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
