you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
