i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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