apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just forgot I was standing up.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
