YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You dont lie about slip and slides
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
