how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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