just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
third nipple confirmed
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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