and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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