she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think my moral compass just broke
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
