I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
