Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
