she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
