i think my tv is drunk
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
